Gratitude

I have this amazing friend. We met in New Zealand ten years ago when we were studying abroad, lost touch, and then found each other again when she moved to Boulder, less than an hour from my house. Small world. She's one of those few people with whom I can be completely myself. I like who I am with her because I feel like I'm really me.

But here's the other great thing about her: we have these amazing conversations where I tell her stories about what's going on in my life, and she has this way of just looking at me that causes me to not only tell the story, but also my reflection on the story, things I didn't even know I thought. And as she somehow calls all of these deeper thoughts out of me about my relationships or past or whatever, I'll say something positive about someone else, and she'll ask, "Have you told her that?"

The answer is almost always "no" because I had never fully formed the thought until I took the time to really tell the story out loud to her and create my opinions as I spoke. And I walk away from our time together not only completely fulfilled and somehow unburdened by saying much of my "unspeakable" thoughts, but also with a new appreciation for what I have and had never stopped to recognize it.

Here's what I mean, for example. As I mentioned in my last post, I went to a wedding a few weeks ago, and Laura watched the kids. That's the story. But here's what Kim helped me realize...I have this amazing sister who has become this selfless, giving, loving, helpful person. After my family and I had driven 9 hours from NC to NJ, I had forgotten to go to the store for some important things I needed the next day. The last thing I wanted to do was drive around in a city I didn't know with a tired family looking for some pretty random stuff. Laura, without hesitating, offered to stop at the store and get what I needed. She then took care of the kids that night while we went to the rehearsal dinner, stayed at the hotel with us, and then watched the kids the next day while we went to the wedding.

But it's not like she just hung out at the hotel and watched TV with the kids while we were at the wedding. No. She had to check out of the hotel with 2 little kids in tow, drive our Suburban (no easy task for someone who doesn't usually drive) and entertain the kids "around town" while we were at the wedding. She eventually ended up sneaking into the hotel where the wedding was and took the kids to the pool to cool off because, oh yeah, it was 100 degrees outside. And she did it all with a smile.

Like anyone with a sibling close in age, growing up, Laura and I had our standard squabbles over whose turn it was to feed the dog, take out the trash, or clean up the toys. We labeled everything so no one was mistaken whose tube of lip gloss it might be. We were sure things we shared were split down to the molecule.

This was not the same sister I saw a few weeks ago. She just helped, and offered, and pitched in, and played with the kids, and gave and gave and gave. There was no splitting up of tasks or making sure we were doing the same amount of chores. She was just there to do what was needed and more. I had one of those moments where you've known someone your whole life, but all of a sudden, you see them in a different light and have a completely new appreciation for that person.

Thank you Laura. And thank you Kim for making me realize how lucky I am.

Laura and me, biking in Steamboat Springs

Laura with the boys, out on a pontoon boat

Beauty with Age

This summer we've had lots of adventures, including a weeklong family camping/scouting trip, and week in Steamboat Springs with my parents and sister, and three weeks on the road to the east coast and back. But honestly, I don't enjoy writing recap posts (although I love reading others'!), so don't hope for one here. I get the most fulfillment writing about reflections on these journeys, rather than just retelling the events.

These thoughts came at my friend Evie's wedding where I got to see many friends and Evie's relatives that I haven't seen for many years. Apart from thoroughly enjoying my time with everyone, I came to really appreciate what age does to people. I know, not everyone ages gracefully, and there are parts of me that I know are worse off as the years have passed. BUT, by and large, the people I saw a few weeks ago all looked amazing. Not exactly the same, not like they hadn't lived since I'd last seen them, but it was astonishing to me just how great people looked.

Perhaps it's the way we hold ourselves as we age, with more confidence, less stress, more grace somehow. With very few exceptions, we seem to look more comfortable in our own skin and just care less about what others think. This radiates through and overshadows any wrinkles, age spots, sagging parts. This positive change becomes what is noticed, and despite what all the ads for skin creams and laser treatments would like us to believe, there is undoubtedly something that people gain for the better as they age.

Evie's mom, (I hope she doesn't mind my mentioning her), looked absolutely fabulous. She had a very flattering haircut, and she radiated confidence and pure joy for the day. But even if I had seen her on an occasion that hadn't been her daughter's wedding, I think her beauty would have still been as noticeable and remarkable.

I have found myself more willing to accept some of the less desireable changes that have occurred over the past few years and have tried to focus on the positive changes. I don't think all the compliments at the wedding were just lip service. I've tried to take them to heart and recognize how age can improve more than just wine.

(Somehow I messed up the html code and can't get back the picture I deleted of my friends and me. I'll try to add it to another post later.)