Picture Recap

Below are some pictures from our summer adventures. I had a hard time choosing just a few from the hundreds we have. Two kids really necessitates lots of photos.

We went camping with some friends and the two kids, and even got some climbing in. Carter got to try out his new harness that he had gotten for his birthday, and Cameron was happiest swinging in the tree (I'd insert "Rock A Bye Baby" here if I knew how.)


This is the beginning of our summer yard project. We first took out a huge dying cottonwood tree that was just to the right of the bobcat. We then wanted to add a brick walkway. When the sand and gravel was delivered, the driveway cracked, so that led to the project of pouring a new driveway.

Here, most of the brick walkway has been laid (a very tedious job!) and the driveway is ready to be poured. Soon I'll post pictures of the finished project.

Cameron smiles all the time now, and I just love it. Here's when he first started smiling. Carter loves to lay a blanket on the floor and have me lay Cameron next to him. Then they chat on the floor in their brother language.

One of our favorite summer places is on the hammock. Cameron's almost guaranteed to fall asleep, and it's a rare moment when Carter is actually still. As you can see, clothing is optional at our house when it's hot.

The boys sleeping in. I love this picture because it's an absolute rarity in our house to have this many people sleeping at the same time, much less in the same room. Of course, on this morning we had to be somewhere at 8:30, so I had to wake everyone up right after I took this picture.

Here's Carter at the Space Needle during our visit to Washington (see previous post). He kept looking up at it and saying, "What's that called?" He was in awe.

"Mimi" and Carter on the beach by my parents' house. I think we adults were as excited for Carter to see the beach as he was. We all kept running up to him and saying, "Look at this! Look at this!" He would try to acknowledge our excitement by picking up whatever it was we were showing him, make an interested face, and then throw it to the ground.

He took on the role of patient parent while we excited children were looking for his reaction.





We took a hike with kids in tow through some old growth forest to an amazing waterfall. Look at the tree behind us!

We went strawberry picking near my parents' house, and Carter loved it. He would pick strawberry after strawberry and eat them. Carter's showing off one of his finds.

Here's another picture in Seattle Center where we taught Carter what "killing time" meant. He kept saying the phrase as if he was really trying to understand.

So that's our summer in a nutshell. Lots of fun, lots of projects, and a little relaxing. Overall, a great time.

Summer's End

With only six days left until I officially return to work, I am a bit anxious of the impending transition. I have loved the past 14 weeks off. I had a little trepidation going into such a long stretch of time off with two kids and not a lot planned because I was afraid of long days sitting in the house with bored and/or crying kids and a restless husband. That was not the case. Between a major yard project (tree removal, new brick walkway, driveway replaced and flagstone patio), a trip to Keystone for a conference, a trip to my parents' house in Washington, and lots of visitors, there was never a dull moment.

Staying so busy gave Mark and me lots of practice handling two kids in a variety of situations, and this past Friday felt like the final exam. We had 24 hours between the time my parents had to drop us off at the airport in Seattle and the time our plane took off. This is no small feat with a 2 year old and (literally) 200 pounds of luggage. We found a hotel near the airport and made use of shuttles, public buses, monorails and our feet to get to downtown Seattle, enjoy ourselves, and then back to the airport in time for our 8:45 pm flight. It was a success. So much of a success, in fact, that Mark and I think Carter was actually better behaved and happier than on an average day. (I'm not sure what that implies, so let's move on.)

Daycare is still not settled. We had a woman semi-arranged, but then she decided she only wanted to watch one kid, not two. So here we sit, less than a week away from needing care with not even a possibility. This is a major contributing factor to my feeling of sadness as the summer ends because I don't know what we will be doing with the kids.

I am trying to just enjoy these last few days and focus on the good, not fear the the unknown and upcoming stresses. Tonight both kids were in bed by 8pm. That is a celebration. I just finished eating some delicious brownies. Another reason to smile.

I imagine I'm one of many in the sea of kids getting ready to return to school with mixed feelings. I will miss these great weeks off I've had, but I look forward to seeing my colleagues again and being mentally stimulated by my job. I also think our family does better with a little more routine, so I will try to enjoy that, as well, although the lazy (or busy) days of summer are tough to beat.

A new dance

I'm taking a deep breath right now. And a second. Not something that happens very often around here these days. Life is full with two kids. Sometimes it feels so chaotic that I wish I could snap my fingers and escape to five years ago, but those moments are few and far between. Mostly, I love the feeling of completeness I have when I am caring for my family.

Mark and I are gingerly feeling out the dance steps needed to follow the music of two children. Sometimes I have to stand in place rocking a baby in my arms while Mark twirls around me to entertain Carter. Other times, Mark has to bow off the dance floor to take a few minutes' rest and nurse a beer before re-entering, ready to go again. We definitely step on each other's toes at times, but we try to be understanding and recognize that neither of us is familiar with this new music, that we both need time to find the rhythm and get in the groove.

Below are some recent pictures of some of our more peaceful moments. I try to make an effort to cherish those times when we are just living in the moment without worries of finances and daycare and parenting disagreements.

Mark and the boys on the couch (credit: Noelani for the cute clothes!) As you can see, Cameron is having no problem putting on weight. After his most recent doctor's appointment, the doctor said I seem to be equipped to feed triplets, at least. Cameron had gained 4 pounds in two weeks, half his body weight.

This is Cameron's first camping trip at six weeks old. People thought we were crazy for doing it, but I think we needed to prove to ourselves that we could still get out in the the woods, even with two kids. It went pretty smoothly. Not quite as relaxing as camping without kids, but still better than not going. I think we're going to attempt it again this weekend, with some climbing mixed in, too.

Me and the boys. Cameron's getting some naked time to heal his diaper rash, and Carter's hammin' it up for the camera. Lately, when Carter sits next to Cameron or asks to hold him, he then says, "Camera?" as if to imply, "Don't we look cute enough to take a picture of?" And he's usually right.

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Cameron's Arrival

Wow. How life can change. I just read my last posting about timing contractions, and can't believe that was only a month ago. After being induced on my scheduled day (April 24), I finally have my beautiful new little boy, Cameron James. He has so quietly and smoothly slipped into our lives that it feels like he has always been a part of our family.

I think we were all bracing for our lives to be turned upside down and inside out with Cameron's arrival. My parents came for four weeks and basically took over running our household (a gift I wish upon anyone deserving; hopefully we were) and then the day they departed, Mark's parents came to take over the duties. The extra help has made life feel doable and manageable and enjoyable. I have been able to really spend some quality time with each of my kids without feeling like the other was being left out; there has always been someone else around to provide the other one with care. I haven't had to worry about life's daily tasks like laundry and vacuuming.

When all the help is gone and it's just Mark and me at home, will we still feel like we can handle this new ratio of 1:1? Or will we wish we had more relatives to call on to take on the daily duties? I'm hoping for the former and fearing the latter. I'm sure we'll have moments of both and will cherish the good time and endure the challenging bits. Only time will tell. For now I'm just going to fully appreciate all of the help and support I have that allows me to really enjoy my new little family.

Below are some pictures of our first days and weeks together. My favorites all tend to be of Carter and Cameron together. They make me feel complete.

A Lesson in Patience

I am sitting on the couch right now at the late hour of 10:45 (I have not seen past 9:30 in months) timing contractions. I am scheduled to be induced next Thursday, a week from today, but as soon as I hit full-term yesterday, I have been watching myself like a hawk for the slightest sign of labor. Every little pain and pinch and irregularity has me wondering if this could be it. I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm energetic, I'm happy I'm sad...could this be a sign?

After nine months of feeling like my body has been going through renovations by some uninvited construction team, I'm ready for the crew to pack up their stuff and take these huge thighs with them. Mark keeps telling me it's not quite time yet, but there's really no way to describe to someone who hasn't been through pregnancy just how "all-encompassing" it is.

Today I came home from work at noon after having a headache, dry-heaving, utter exhaustion, and just all-over ickiness. I was willing to go through all that if it was labor, but after a three hour nap, much to my disappointment, I was feeling better and more like myself again.

Now that I've had that long nap, I'm wide awake, and of course the contractions I'm feeling aren't helping to calm me down at all. The doctor said to call as soon as I seem to have any sort of rhythm to the contractions to make sure I get in in time, but I don't know whether what's going on is worth all the trouble we'll have to go through to go to the hospital. Having Carter really complicates things. And who wants to pay for a hospital visit when it could just turn out to be a false alarm?

So I'm trying to be patient and objectively time my contractions. I know the hope in the back of my mind is I'll decide to go to the hospital and they'll tell me that even if I happen to not be in labor, they may as well induce since they were going to anyway. Unfortunately, in the time I've been writing this, the contractions seem to be subsiding. I may not even have an excuse to go to the hospital.

Patience. It brings back memories of having to wait until Christmas morning to open presents. Maybe that's the real point of Santa Claus, to teach us a lesson in patience. I surely am having to muster up all the patience I have right now to not call the doctor and and ask her if I can have my gift, my child, right now.

Dog Food Fun

Life with a two-year-old is never dull. Just as soon as I think I can take my eye off Carter and maybe take a deep breath or watch a commercial all the way through, he reminds me that’s not really an option. Last night, wallowing in my whale-like state, I was laying on the couch with half an eye on the TV while Carter decided Winston needed some more food. This is a regular duty of Carter’s that I have helped with and supervised many times, so it was nothing out of the ordinary and meant that I wouldn’t have to do it later.

He’d bring each cup of food over to show me before dumping it in Winston’s bowl, proud that he had figured out how to scoop it himself. I could hear he was doing a great job, and I hadn’t heard any pieces fall on the floor. After a few rounds of this, I figured the bowl was probably full enough, so I told him to do his last scoop, and then put it away. He dumped the last cup in, and then I could hear him rustling around with the food in the bowl. He hadn’t solicited my attention for a while, never a good sign, so I jelly-rolled off the couch to see what was up.

There is a heat register on the floor near where we keep the food and water bowls, and Carter had pulled off the cover and dumped the majority of the contents of Winston’s food bowl into the vent tube. He pointed at it and said proudly, “Food in hole!” At first I was terrified, picturing food rolling through miles of HVAC in our house, blowing the smell of dog food through the registers every time the heat kicked on. In my best attempt to not scare Carter, but to let him know the seriousness of the offense, I said through clenched teeth, “Nooooo, Carter. We don’t put food in this hole.” He could see in my face that I was not happy and slowly backed away to show he wouldn’t try it again.

I assessed the damage and realized that luckily the vent tube took a pretty sharp horizontal turn shortly past the opening, so I was able to scoop out most, if not all of the food (and a lot of dust bunnies) without too much trouble. With my back turned to Carter, all I could do was smile and know that this wouldn’t be the last time Carter would find a way to anger, surprise, and tickle me with his creative explorations.

Secrets

Have you heard of PostSecret? It started out as a guy's project, and has evolved into a few books, a website, and videos, all of people's secrets. The basic idea is for people to write their secrets on a postcard (usually accompanied by some form of artwork) and send it to this guy who then publishes much of what he receives. I find something so intriguing about the whole thing. Every Sunday new secrets are posted on the website, and I can't wait to see the new postcards. It somehow feels voyeuristic and liberating and comforting, all at the same time. For me I think part of the attraction is reading others' secrets and knowing I don't have half as much I'm holding in. The other part is that many of their secrets are my secrets, and it's somehow reassuring to feel like other people think the same things I do, if only in secret.

As much as I think we all try to be true to ourselves and honest with others, there's always a small little piece of us that we shield, protect, and hide from the outside world with the fear that others will judge us because of it. Recently I have made an effort to be especially truthful and forthright with what I'm thinking and what I believe, without editing due to the potential reaction of others. In my postings on here I've tried to express my true feelings and thoughts to the extent that I can without infringing on others' right to privacy (mainly Mark's).

But I know deep down that there are many things I think and feel that never get expressed, even to myself. Things that I don't even write in my private diary out of fear that writing them will make them real, and that when I die, people will read my diary and gasp. Isn't that silly? It's just ink on paper, words on a page. And yet, that can have so much power, enough to prevent me from writing.

Experience has taught me that almost always secrets and deep-down thoughts sound worse in my head than they do aloud, and that people are much more forgiving than I give them credit for. Expressing those thoughts rarely is regretted, and is usually quite liberating, but I still have a clear boundary of what I am willing to say, willing to write, willing to admit to. So for now, I will enjoy my guilty pleasure of reading other people's secrets and know I'm not the only one out there with thoughts that remain secrets.