2009

We are at the brink of a new year, and I can feel the weight of all that brings with it. Hopes and expectations and ponderings clutter my head. Rather than create a list of resolutions that I know I will never keep, and will therefore result in disappointment, I instead choose to lay on the table a list of possibilities, probabilities, roughly sketched goals, and other ponderings. This is what tumbles out at this hour:

1. Neater closets
2. Less cluttered desk
3. Two children who will sleep through the night
4. Carter in pre-school
5. More reading for pleasure
6. More free time outside
7. A vegetable garden in the backyard
8. A girls' trip with my sister and mom
9. Less time picking up toys
10. Learning to play a new song on the piano
11. Less worry about others judging me
12. Focus on the joy, not obligation, of giving gifts
13. Forgiving myself for the parenting mistakes I will inevitably make
14. Trad leading at least a 5.8 (climbing jargon)
15. Cameron walking and learning his first words
16. Finally feeling like my body is really mine for the first time in four (!) years
17. Giving away more junk to Goodwill (this complements number 1 nicely)
18. Carefully choosing my battles, and being confident in my decisions
19. Living the philosophy of the serenity prayer
20. Learn to cook a new favorite dish
21. Eat more vegetables
22. Eat more fresh, unprocessed food
23. Model the act of giving on a regular basis for my children
24. Find time for more yoga
25. Accept that I will not meet all my expectations for 2009, and that's okay

There are the 25 that seem to come to mind at the moment. What thoughts float around in your head on such a day? Cheers to a new year.

Dissonance

Winter break officially started yesterday afternoon, and I can feel myself in a state of dissonance, too scattered to focus on any one thing for very long. I am anxious for my family to come to town in a day or two and want my house to look festive, clean, and tidy. Not because it's expected but because I am more at ease when I'm not thinking about the unswept kitchen floor.

But my mind keeps wandering back to my last day of work, remembering the few loose ends I wasn't able to take care of and will be waiting when I return in two weeks.

Then there's the planning for these precious days we have off, even more precious because we have possible babysitters, meaning that we could potentially do some of those things that we can't afford to do with a sitter because they're too time consuming. But these activities have to be balanced by the time spent with those visiting. My time with them is precious, too.

But my children always pull me back to the present. Carter needs a cup of milk, a story to be read, a snack to be made. Cameron's ready for a nap, a new toy, to nurse. I am reminded that I can think and plan and worry all I want, but now is now. I need to pace myself and be present, pull my mind away from the past and future, into what's happening around me.

I need to ground myself and find my rhythm, synthesize everything that's in my head into a steady beat that moves me forward, not a cacophony that scatters and spins me.

So I sit here and write in an attempt to quiet my mind, perhaps even empty some of what is in it. Writing calms me and centers me, helps me sort through my thoughts and refocus on priorities. I feel less grinding of my gears already. I am able to think and see more clearly. Deep breath. Let the holidays begin.

Winter's Here

We spent Monday evening in Cherry Creek North admiring the newly unveiled, high-ranking Christmas window displays, and then drinking hot chocolate. It was one of those magical nights where the lights are brighter, the air is crisper, and cheeks are rosier than usual. Such a spur-of-the-moment outing that will hopefully be a yearly tradition.

On Wednesday, Mark and I had the day off from work and for the sake of getting some good "couple" time in, we took the kids to daycare and headed to Lincoln Falls for some ice climbing. The weather was perfect, the ice was in, and the kids were taken care of. We got three good routes in. Tromping around in the snow and ice really made me realize that the winter spirit is here, even if not the official winter season.

I'm getting excited about digging out the Christmas decorations and transforming the house for Carter and all of our visiters that will be coming in to celebrate. I say, bring on the blizzards, bring on the snow. My arsenal of hot chocolate and comfort foods is ready and waiting.

Giving Thanks

This thanksgiving we decided to stay home and enjoy being together with just our family. Upon Mark's suggestion, we made all the traditional thanksgiving dishes, knowing that we would be the only ones who would have to suffer if we messed anything up. The dinner actually turned out delicious. We rated it an 8 compared to other grandmas' 10 dinners. Not bad.

Mark took charge of doing the turkey. We used the oven bag but Joy of Cooking's recommendation to "roll" the bird every half hour.
We gave thanks for our wonderful day together. Carter's still getting the idea of the whole holiday. I just love this picture from this afternoon.

Cutie Cameron and other miscellaneous photos

I've had some requests for some more Cameron pictures. It's funny because I actually take more pictures of him, but I seem to post more of Carter. So, below are some miscellaneous pictures of the boys, with plenty of Cameron. There's even a rare family photo of us. We're in Idaho Springs in the hot springs pool. Enjoy!

Carter's Birthday

Carter's birthday party on Saturday was a great success. He had lots of fun and loved the attention. Here is a story of his birthday in pictures.

Carter excitedly waited all morning for his friends to come over.

He waited patiently to eat his cake and looked longingly at it many times during the day.

It was a lion cake to go along with the jungle theme. What it lacked in appearance it made up for in home-made deliciousness.

Carter and his friends had fun decorating their favor bags with jungle stamps.

Meanwhile, the babies socialized with each other.
Carter opened lots of presents. He loved the dragon castle with its trap door, treasure, and boulder.

Cameron pretended to be Medusa with some of Carter's snakes.

And the helicopter was great. He loved all the noises it made.

Finally, it was cake time. Carter's eyes lit up when we all started singing. He still likes to sing Happy Birthday to himself a few times a day.


Carter and Mark enjoyed sharing a piece of cake.

It was a great party. Happy third birthday, Carter.

Cause for Celebration

If I titled every week of my life, this week’s title would be celebration. Each event is so so notable and remarkable for me that I wanted to include them in separate posts. So keep scrolling. Keep reading. Keep celebrating.