Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Children of Summer




School's out and the warm weather's here. I've taken my solo trip for the summer (to visit Laura in NYC), and now I have a month and a half before school starts again. Mark's taking a couple classes for most of the days this summer, so it's just me and the boys on the weekdays. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about that, about going from full time job to full time mom without much chance to get out on my own, but so far I'm loving it. It's making me really make an effort to enjoy each moment with my kids and think of things that will get us all out and about.




I'm realizing how well I do when I can make my own plans without having to meet other adults' needs and can really focus on Carter and Cameron and follow their natural rhythm. I can leave in the morning for an outing when everyone's ready, and not before, and head home when everyone's had their fill and needs the comfort of their own bed for the afternoon nap. I even get a few moments of shut-eye here and there.




Now that Cameron is walking, Carter and Cameron often can entertain each other without needing me unless there is a dispute over a shared toy. Today I went to a nearby lake with a friend who has kids the same age, and we both noted that we were able to carry on a complete conversation without needing to tend to our kids. It doesn't sound like much, but it's amazing what a difference it makes not always having to be doing something for the kids.




I've started to be able to get my own enjoyment out of activities I do with the kids. Tomorrow I'm going on a hike and, although I know it will be at Carter's pace and it will take me a good part of the morning to get ready, I anticipate that I'll still feel like I'm getting outside and at least getting a bit of exercise, even if it's only because I'll have 30-pound Cameron on my back.




The shift is taking place ever so gradually, but I get glimpses of not always needing to be concerned about what my kids need, who's hungry, why someone's crying. I'm having more and more moments of truly enjoying the relationship with my kids and doing things that we all want to do. It makes me realize how cool I really think my kids are and how amazing it is that I get to spend the rest of my life with them.