All in the Family

Over Labor Day weekend I was in the wedding of one of my best friends, Nicole, from high school. Another good friend from childhood, Evie, was there as well, and the three of us enjoyed the festivities and hung out most of the weekend. I loved spending time with great friends and having some time to sleep in or just be. Other than my bridesmaidly duties, I had very few responsibilities and was able to just relax . . . sort of.

This trip was the longest time I have been away from Carter, and I was expecting it to be a welcome break from changing diapers and waking up at the crack of dawn. And it was. But I really and truly missed my family. Much more than I had expected. This trip made it clear to me who my family is now.

I think we all go through different phases of life and different people become a part of our immediate family. Early childhood, of course is, for most people, our parents and siblings. But middle school and high school it begins to shift to our circle of friends, those people with whom we share our most intimate secrets and the minutae of our lives. Going off to college signifies another change in family, a change to our roommates and classmates whom we live with and study near.

After I moved away from all the people that had constituted family up until a few years ago, my family became a hodge-podge of people, a mixture of all the family from my past: parents, sister, high school and college friends; and then Mark. Now that Mark and I are married and have our own child, my new family has solidified itself for now. It is very clearly Mark and Carter (and Winston). They are the ones I share my daily life with and miss if I'm away for more than a day or so. My life is inextricably linked to theirs, and the line between each of us is blurred.

In no way does my new family take away from everyone that's been a part of my family, but the direction my heartstrings pull is different. No longer do I feel lost without my circle of friends; I need them, but in a different way. The wedding weekend made me realize how important my current family is, and that a part of me will always miss them and want them with me. They are the ones I wake up for in the morning and look forward to spending my days with. They are the ones that are always in my thoughts.

The other day we were all taking a hike, and a woman who was walking looked at us and smiled, and then commented, "What a nice family unit!" A bit of an odd comment, but somehow it resonated with me and made me warm inside. We are a "nice family unit".