Sunday, July 29, 2007

The weekend in pictures

I know I haven't posted for awhile. Hopefully these pictures will make up for it. I just got a new camera and had fun using it. Here's a photo-sampling of our weekend.

Carter had fun at the park by our house.



Carter and I made blueberry muffins and licked the bowl.


Mark and Carter mowed the lawn. Notice the ear protection.
And the lawn mower seemed to be built with a special bar just at Carter's height!


We went to the Buffalo Bill Wild West days in Golden and heard some great live music.

The Weary Boys.


Monday, July 16, 2007

Did you make a difference today?

What defines success? What makes us valuable? How do we measure our productivity? Having been a teacher for four years, I have measured success by educating a classroom of students for a year and seeing progress. I felt like I was making a valuable contribution to society and knew I had done my job. I could show the improved test results for all my hard work. My time was booked (and overbooked) to the minute, and I always had 10 things to do. I had a very definite schedule to stick to and knew exactly what was expected of me. Being busy meant I had lots of important things to do and what I did mattered to someone.

Not anymore. I am the RtI specialist for the school. A new position for the school and for the district. The person that will be supervising me has not yet been hired. My principal says we're still working through exactly what my job will be. In theory I will help screen primary kids, match interventions with kids below grade level in reading, support the teacher in implementation, analyze data, and help make instructional and programming decisions from there.

That's all well and good, but what do I do today? I don't have a set schedule. I won't be working with kids directly for any length of time. I haven't even met 3/4 of the teachers I'll be supporting, so it's not like we're discussing kids that need support yet.

So how do I know if I'm doing my job? I don't have any clear measure of success. I'm so used to having every minute of my day scheduled, so being able to plan a meeting for any time of day I want, or going to a training without having to write sub plans feels like cheating. Am I really accomplishing anything?

I know that as the school year goes on, I'm guaranteed to feel overwhelmed. I've already had many people tell me to watch out because teachers think I'm here to save them. What they don't know is I'm feeling as clueless as they are, just about different things.

So I continue to report to work every day and sit at my desk and act productive. I've been working on creating a chart detailing the reading interventions we have available so we can quickly refer to it when designing a program for a kid. Is it needed? Who knows. Will my work actually contribute to students' learning and success? I don't know and don't know if I'll ever know.

But, here's the thing: other than not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing, I somehow love my job. I look forward to seeing the people on my team in the morning. I like learning about interventions and how to implement them. I like my little office and the rose-scented lotion I keep at my desk. So maybe that's the success I should be celebrating right now. I am ripe for helping others because I'm in such a good mental place myself. And that's the first step.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

What do YOU want?

I'm reading the book "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I'm not very far into it but already love her style of writing and her personal way of connecting to the reader. At one point, when her life is sort of falling apart and she's going through a messy divorce, she begins to appreciate the little "compartments of time and space that were appearing in [her] days, during which [she] could ask [her]self the radical new question: 'What do YOU want to do, Liz?'" She starts out with little things like going to yoga class and buying a new pencil box, but she also ends up living in Italy, obviously a pretty major thing she wants to do.

This little snippet out of the book struck me and has me asking myself the same question. I think I do a pretty good job of not letting time just slip away from me doing chores and errands. We get out and do things quite often. But having a husband and kid make it so easy to want to do what will make everyone happy, what will work best for the group. And that's fine. But I think I need to do a better job about getting those little things I want. Like reading a good book or going to hear some good live music. Things that don't work well for everyone. Things I really have to make an effort to do. And world travel. That's a tough one to get in right now.

On the other side, though, asking myself that question reinforces just how much I already have what I want. I have a family that I love more than the world itself, I have a job that I (hope to) love, and breaks that allow me to spend time with my family and travel locally. I live in a place where I can do the things I love like camp and hike and climb. I don't have any major conflict in my life and have a very strong, wide-spread support network of people that can support me when things go south. So I think life is good. I have most of what I want. I feel full of what I need.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

A day of days

I had one of those days that you want to savor like a smooth, creamy, expensive truffle. A day to roll around in your mouth to taste every little bit of it. Mark, Carter, and I went to southwest Colorado with Laura (my sister) and her friend. I had found a hike online that supposedly went to some unmarked hot springs near a river. Our only directions, other than what trail to take were to "...look for hoofprints in the messy bog beside the river...pools like eight black beads along the shore by an archipelago of stones...."

We weren't sure if we'd find the springs with such vague directions and knowing that they could easily be dried up or flooded by the river. We set out to just enjoy a beautiful hike through the woods. But, sure enough, we came across a messy bog, hoofprints in the mud, and an archipelago of stones. Other than one other group that was leaving as we arrived, we had the place to ourselves. People had built up rocks to form pools, some of which were too hot to even go in. We planted ourselves in one pool with hot water trickling in to a pool also fed by the cool river water, and the contrasting temperatures gave the most refreshing, relaxing sensations. Here we are lounging in the pools.

With no expectations about what we would find, the day exceeded anything we hoped for. That evening we spent the evening going to the local 4th of July carnival with Carter, and his pure delight in going on the big slide and merry-go-round infected all of us. To top it all off, Laura, her friend, and I lounged in the local Pagosa Hot Springs Resort pools, the best (developed) hot springs I've been to. It was a day to remember.

The rest of the trip was great. We also took a 4WD trip through the mountains and over the continental divide. Below is a picture of a ghost town we visited on the drive.

It was great to have some time to spend with Laura in an amazing place before I had to return to work tomorrow. It's been a short but eventful summer with lots of adventure and memories.

More on my new job later.