A quick addendum to yesterday’s post:
Last night we went swimming again, and Carter found a little girl named Erika to play with. We went through the routine of Carter asking her name, and my telling him to ask her and tell her his name as well. Names were exchanged, and the rest of the night, she referred to him as Tater and he called her Kylie, and they both responded to each other as if those had been their names all along. Erika’s dad and I attempted to clarify with our children the other’s name, but it was unsuccessful, and really, it didn’t matter. Tater and Kylie got along just fine without us.
Showing posts with label swimming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label swimming. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Playing Nice
We have discovered discounted Tuesday nights at the rec center, so I have been taking Carter swimming. It gives him a chance to get out and be active, and he and I get some quality time because Mark stays home with Cameron.
It's also a place where there are community toys, children, and lots of opportunities for turn-taking, sharing, and interacting. Carter just loves any kids that will play with him. He immediately begins referring to a playmate as "my friend", and then proceeds to initiate play in any way he can. He asks me questions like, "What's her name?" and I have to tell him to go ask, and to tell her his name too. Once he finds out what he's looking for, he always turns back and smiles at me, satisfied that he now has a name to call out.
Having a young child who is learning the rules of play and social interaction reminds me on a daily basis that although we are naturally social beings, we often need to be taught the conventions that our society has established to play nice. It's one of the countless lessons that falls on the list of parent responsibilities.
It's interesting to me that Carter is aware that there are social rules, but that he acknowledges he doesn't always know them. For example, he'll say to me, "I want her boat," but indicates he doesn't know what to do. I tell him that he could offer to trade toys, and he'll do so, once again proud that he was able to get what he wanted in such a successful way.
A side note on all of this is that the adults of these children learning social rules also have to come to a common understanding of what we are going to guide our children to do. For example, if Carter wants another child's toy, but the other child doesn't want to share, then we parents both have a call to make--do we tell Carter that's the other child's toy so he can't play with it, or do we tell the other child to share?
We parents have to quickly read each other's body language and discern who needs to intervene. There is no one right answer, but we parents, not even knowing each other, understand that we have to support the other in the decision made so our kids hear a consistent message.
It's not an easy thing to do, present this unspoken united front as unacquainted parents. It reminds me that Carter's not the only one learning and practicing the unwritten social rules we all live by. As a parent, I have to remember how to initiate contact with another person, come to common understandings, and play nice.
It's also a place where there are community toys, children, and lots of opportunities for turn-taking, sharing, and interacting. Carter just loves any kids that will play with him. He immediately begins referring to a playmate as "my friend", and then proceeds to initiate play in any way he can. He asks me questions like, "What's her name?" and I have to tell him to go ask, and to tell her his name too. Once he finds out what he's looking for, he always turns back and smiles at me, satisfied that he now has a name to call out.
Having a young child who is learning the rules of play and social interaction reminds me on a daily basis that although we are naturally social beings, we often need to be taught the conventions that our society has established to play nice. It's one of the countless lessons that falls on the list of parent responsibilities.
It's interesting to me that Carter is aware that there are social rules, but that he acknowledges he doesn't always know them. For example, he'll say to me, "I want her boat," but indicates he doesn't know what to do. I tell him that he could offer to trade toys, and he'll do so, once again proud that he was able to get what he wanted in such a successful way.
A side note on all of this is that the adults of these children learning social rules also have to come to a common understanding of what we are going to guide our children to do. For example, if Carter wants another child's toy, but the other child doesn't want to share, then we parents both have a call to make--do we tell Carter that's the other child's toy so he can't play with it, or do we tell the other child to share?
We parents have to quickly read each other's body language and discern who needs to intervene. There is no one right answer, but we parents, not even knowing each other, understand that we have to support the other in the decision made so our kids hear a consistent message.
It's not an easy thing to do, present this unspoken united front as unacquainted parents. It reminds me that Carter's not the only one learning and practicing the unwritten social rules we all live by. As a parent, I have to remember how to initiate contact with another person, come to common understandings, and play nice.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Joyful Journey
For my birthday I had requested from Mark to plan a short family trip for us. We don't often pay to stay places, so that would be a treat, and having someone else plan a trip was a gift in itself. Mark enlisted the help of his students and found Joyful Journeys, a delightful hot springs getaway. He booked us to stay in the yurts, something totally new to me. I was excited when we set out this past Thursday, but a little apprehensive just because I had such high expectations for it.
The past three days have been some of the best days we've had as a family. Things went smoothly, and the rhythm just seemed right on. It was just us, so we had no one else's agenda to fit into, and we could do what felt right at the time without external constraints. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, and the kids were in good spirits, likely feeding off Mark's and my concurrent happiness.
We soaked often in the crystal clear, untreated waters, and they even had a pool that was cool enough for Carter. We also went to the Great Sand Dunes National Park, a place I had been before with 60 of my students, so it was a whole different experience with our small group of four. The Alligator Farm, a highly touted attraction in the area was another of our planned day trips. It turned out to be quite an odd place, more like your weird aunt Betty's backyard where she keeps odd animals that happen to come her way.
On our last morning there, I even got to take a two hour yoga class because there happened to be a yoga retreat there for the weekend, and the instructor let me drop in to a class. It was quite different than many other classes I've taken, and refreshing for that reason.
The one downer for the trip was my camera that got dropped in the sand and is not functioning at the moment (hence, the lack of accompanying pictures). Hopefully, some of the links will make up for the visuals.
The past three days far exceeded my expectations. Again, it was less about what we did, and more about how we were able to enjoy our time together as a family. It reminds me that these years with itsy bitsy kids can be trying, but that it doesn't have to be all hard, and that it does get easier. This trip reminded me how very much I really love the little family we have created. I feel so complete. These past few days truly were a joyful journey for all of us.
The past three days have been some of the best days we've had as a family. Things went smoothly, and the rhythm just seemed right on. It was just us, so we had no one else's agenda to fit into, and we could do what felt right at the time without external constraints. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, and the kids were in good spirits, likely feeding off Mark's and my concurrent happiness.
We soaked often in the crystal clear, untreated waters, and they even had a pool that was cool enough for Carter. We also went to the Great Sand Dunes National Park, a place I had been before with 60 of my students, so it was a whole different experience with our small group of four. The Alligator Farm, a highly touted attraction in the area was another of our planned day trips. It turned out to be quite an odd place, more like your weird aunt Betty's backyard where she keeps odd animals that happen to come her way.
On our last morning there, I even got to take a two hour yoga class because there happened to be a yoga retreat there for the weekend, and the instructor let me drop in to a class. It was quite different than many other classes I've taken, and refreshing for that reason.
The one downer for the trip was my camera that got dropped in the sand and is not functioning at the moment (hence, the lack of accompanying pictures). Hopefully, some of the links will make up for the visuals.
The past three days far exceeded my expectations. Again, it was less about what we did, and more about how we were able to enjoy our time together as a family. It reminds me that these years with itsy bitsy kids can be trying, but that it doesn't have to be all hard, and that it does get easier. This trip reminded me how very much I really love the little family we have created. I feel so complete. These past few days truly were a joyful journey for all of us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
